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Get It in Writing: The Script and the Letter for an IEP or IPP Meeting

By Jared Ohman · 9 min read · Updated October 6, 2026

You left the meeting with a yes. Three weeks later nobody remembers saying it. Here is the sentence that puts a yes or a no on paper, a letter you can send the same day, and what the rules say the school owes you in writing.

The one sentence

When the school says yes to something, or no, say this before the meeting moves on:

"Can you put that in writing, so we are all working from the same words?"

When the answer is no, add the second half:

"Can I have that no in writing, with the reason and what it was based on?"

You are not accusing anyone. You are asking for a record. A request that lives only in people's memories gets remembered differently by each of them.

Then write down what you heard while they talk, and read it back before you leave: "So what I have is: we asked for X, the answer is Y, the reason is Z, and the next step is W by this date. Is that right?"

The letter to send the same day

Send it as an email, so it carries a date and a time. Fill in the brackets and delete what does not apply.

Subject: Confirming what we decided on [date]

Hi [name],

Thank you for meeting with us on [date]. I am writing to confirm in writing what we decided, so that we are all working from the same words.

  1. We asked for: [the specific request].
  2. The team's answer was: [yes, no, or not yet].
  3. The reason given was: [the reason, in their words if you can].
  4. It was based on: [the assessments, records or data the team named].
  5. What happens next, and by when: [the action, who does it, the date].

Please reply by [date] to confirm this is accurate, or tell me what you remember differently. If any answer was a no, please send me that decision in writing, with the reason and the information it was based on.

I will keep this email in [child's name]'s file.

Thank you, [your name]

Keep it short and numbered, with no apology. If nobody replies, you still hold a dated record of what you understood, and you can bring it to the next meeting.

What the United States requires in writing

In the US the rule is IDEA's prior written notice, 34 CFR 300.503. The school must give you written notice a reasonable time before it proposes or refuses to start or change your child's identification, evaluation, educational placement, or the provision of a free appropriate public education (FAPE). The notice has to include:

  • a description of what the school is proposing or refusing
  • an explanation of why
  • a description of each evaluation procedure, assessment, record or report the school used as a basis
  • a statement that you have procedural safeguards, and how to get a copy of them
  • sources you can contact to understand the rules
  • the other options the IEP team considered, and the reasons they were rejected
  • any other factors relevant to the decision

It has to be written in language the general public can understand and, unless that is clearly not feasible, in your native language. You are also entitled to a copy of your child's IEP at no cost (34 CFR 300.322(f)).

That list is why the second sentence above works. "The reason and what it was based on" asks for the second and third items. "What else was considered" asks for the sixth.

Courts have also treated the written offer as the thing that counts. In Union School District v. Smith (1994), the Ninth Circuit wrote that the requirement of a formal, written offer "should be enforced rigorously" and "creates a clear record" of what placements were offered. That is one federal appeals court, the one for the western states including California, Arizona and Washington. Other courts can decide differently, so read it as a reason to ask, not as a rule that binds your district.

What you can get in writing in Alberta

Alberta's Standards for Special Education and the Education Act do not use the phrase "prior written notice", and this guide does not claim they work the same way. What they do put on paper:

  • The IPP. The Standards have school boards ensure an IPP is developed, implemented, monitored and evaluated for every student identified as having special education needs, and have the school obtain written informed parental consent on it. When a parent refuses consent, the school has to document the reasons and what it did to resolve the concerns.
  • Your child's record. A parent may review the student record (Education Act, section 56), and the Standards have IPPs placed in it.
  • The division's rules. School boards must have written local policies and procedures available to the public (Standards, standard 12), and a policy for resolving disputes at the school level (Education Act, section 41). Ask for both by name.
  • The board's decision on an appeal. The board must report its decision in writing to the person who appealed, forthwith (Education Act, section 42(8)).

So the Alberta version of the sentence is: "Can you confirm that in an email today, and note it in the IPP?" When the answer is no: "Please send me that decision in writing, with the reason."

Dates matter, because of how the clock works. A request for the Minister of Education to review a board's decision about specialized supports and services, or an expulsion, has to be in writing within 60 days of the date you were informed of the decision (Education Act, section 43). A decision you only heard in a hallway gives you a start date you cannot prove.

If the school will not put it in writing

Say so in your follow-up letter, and ask again by a date. If that does not work, the routes depend on where you live. Which one fits your child is a question for a parent advocate or a lawyer.

United States

  • Procedural safeguards notice. The district must give you a copy once a school year, and also on request, on a first referral or request for evaluation, and when you file your first state complaint or due process complaint in a school year (34 CFR 300.504). It explains your options.
  • State complaint. You can file a signed written complaint with your state education agency saying the district violated IDEA. It has to cover a violation from the past year, and the state must complete its process within 60 days, with limited extensions (34 CFR 300.151 to 300.153).
  • Mediation. It is voluntary for both sides and cannot be used to delay your right to a hearing (34 CFR 300.506).
  • Due process complaint. It has to cover a violation within two years of when you knew or should have known about it, unless your state sets its own limit (34 CFR 300.507). If you ask, or if either side files, the district must tell you about free or low-cost legal services in your area.
  • Section 504 and ADA complaints. These are discrimination claims, separate from IDEA. One route is the Office for Civil Rights (OCR) at the US Department of Education. GAO reported that between March 11 and September 23, 2025, OCR resolved 7,072 complaints, and 6,353 of them, about 90 percent, were resolved by dismissal. GAO notes that OCR can dismiss a complaint for more than 15 reasons, and that in earlier years dismissals ran from 49 to 81 percent of resolved complaints, so a dismissal is not a finding that nothing happened. The Department has been restructuring since March 2025, so check its current filing page before you file. Treat OCR as one option, not the first step.
  • A.J.T. v. Osseo Area Schools. In June 2025 the US Supreme Court held that students bringing ADA and Section 504 claims related to their education do not have to show "bad faith or gross misjudgment". They face the same standards as in other disability discrimination cases. Under those standards a claim for an injunction does not require proof of intent, and a claim for damages generally requires intentional discrimination, which most circuits find met by "deliberate indifference" (605 U.S. 335). Whether that helps your child is a question for a lawyer.

Alberta

  • Start with your division's school-level dispute resolution policy (Education Act, section 41). You have to follow it before you appeal.
  • Then appeal a decision that significantly affects your child's education to the board (section 42).
  • For a board decision about specialized supports and services, or an expulsion, you can then ask the Minister of Education to review it, in writing, within 60 days of being informed of the decision (section 43).

The free Parking-Lot Script has the three sentences that go with this one, and what to do when the school has already decided covers the other way a meeting goes wrong.

Sources

Checked October 2026.

This guide explains the rules in plain language. It is not legal advice. Court decisions bind only the courts and districts they cover, and the rules change, so check yours.

Take it into the car.

The twelve sentences as a one-page printable, for the five minutes before you walk in. By email, free.

No spam. A few short, practical emails over a week, then you decide.

The toolkit is being revised and will be back soon.

Walking into a meeting soon? Start free: the Parking-Lot Script

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